Goal
Learning to use the energy of disturbing emotions to help the person unconditionally and thus preventing escalations.
Why?
Emotions have energy; also disturbing emotions. If you are able to let go the emotions, like in the previous practice, this energy falls away. If you can use and transform transform the energy into energy of compassion, it can give you the strength to really help the person. Moreover compassion is a de-escalating energy that can help prevent escalations.
Practice
This practice is a next step after the previous practice of letting go the emotion.
Again take a few minutes for each part of the practice in order to internalize.
- After letting go the disturbing emotion, feel the peace in your body and mind. You can for a moment also let go the memory of the incident.
- Now recall the moment in your mind. But now don’t look at what the person did, but try to empathize with how he felt: frustrated, fearful, rejected, helpless, etc.
- Imagine that this isn’t the first time that the person is in a situation like this. What must it mean for him to get a negative response from others every time when this happens.
- Imagine that you are the person; what would you want your caregiver to do in order to feel happy again?
- Now visualize how you do what the person would like you to do – in spite of his disturbing behavior. And see how it helps him to relax.
- If you are not able to give the person what he needs, can you accept this feeling of helplessness and offer him an alternative or help him deal with his disappointment.
- Look back at what you just did (imaginary) and feel proud of helping the person unconditionally, despite the circumstances and the behavior of the person.
Application if daily life
Like the practice of letting go, it’s important to start first imaginary or in a dialogue with a colleague before you are able to apply this directly in your work. In your work you can start with moment that only cause limited feelings of discomfort, and later you can go to the more challenging moments.
